Jmac is back... in black

Hello my fellow bloggers, as you can see J-mac is back... in black... oh yes, a new J-mac has taken over. To cut things short, "last year was a pretty shit year to be honest and a lot of things have been going on in my life, blah blah blah... But now that 2012 is gone and we're in 2013, things seem to be a lot better and are still going to be. I have so much to look forward to this year as well and all I can say is... I still can't believe it's not butter!!... hahaha I kid, I kid, I don't even like butter anyway.

See, I can't believe it's not butter

Hyphens... Hyphens are cool!

But yeah I noticed I've not been on this blog for like nearly a year now so I thought you know what, it's time to resurrect the mighty taste of J-mac but this time with a huge change. 

You noticed that my name now has a hyphen, well that's the change... I know what you're thinking, you was expecting something bigger, what a buzz kill that was. But yeah my nickname has a hyphen now... SO DEAL WITH IT!!!... I'm joking, God!!

Yeah I have lot's to talk about and more to come as the year goes on. Expect for some very random posts as well. So I'll catch you all later on my next post.

Where the fuck did you go Jmac?

Oh, sorry for being away in the last couple of weeks, I've had lots on my mind and I kinda forgotten about the whole blog thingy, so my apologies. But hey, Jmac is back :D     

well not that it matters anyway I suppose, since no one has read this blog.

Jigglypuff?

This is a Jigglypuff Josh, not some new cereal
which you thought was going to come out

Back in my childhood, trading card games were very popular and probably still are today. I only played Yu-Gi-Oh, but the one that people played the most was Pokemon (I never played it, found it really complicated). Although I never played it, I did in fact know of some of the cards... well apart from the moment when I was told by someone in my junior school; 'Do you know what Jigglypuff is?' and my response was... 'Is it a new cereal coming out'... :S

I was really embarrassed after I said that and then all of the kids started laughing at me because of it, but hey we all make those silly and slightly cute mistakes lol :P

'Darkness is the heart's true essence'

I have just recently read a post from LD.Blaney's blog (http://theld-effect.blogspot.com/) about his faith and humanity...and it mentions about violence and that 'violence is in human nature'. You know what... he is absolutely right about that.


In our lifes, we do walk through some very dark corridors and doorways which can have an affect on our lives, but as well as that, there are some which are within ourselves as well. So not only with face it, but we have and use it as well; we were born with it. 


Lets look at it this way, Darkness is in our hearts, it in everybody's hearts, whether how good or evil a human you are. Doesn't matter that you choose not to use it or to use every drop of it, you are full of darkness no matter what. I myself choose not you use it, but if I'm in a situation where it needs to be used, then I will. 


Honestly guys don't run away from it or fear it, it is not as scary as you think it is. I used to be scared of mine and I still am at times, but the whole bogeyman inside me just turned out to be just a visual image created by my mind from the very emotion I felt at the same time. You can use the darkness inside you for good deeds as well i.e. defending/protecting a best friend and avenging those you care about.


Also if you think about the whole antagonist and protagonist idea, you'll probably thinking that the antagonist is full of darkness, which is correct. However, if you look at it another way, the hero is full of darkness as well, they beat the living shit out of the villain, because they are full of rage and rage comes from the darkness within them. So it doesn't matter what kind of person you are; kind, polite, friendly or nasty, selfish, arrogant, you are full of darkness, your darkness; your blood.


You'll probably thinking, 'you're a complete nutter Josh' and 'what is wrong with you man' and yes I probably am to think such a thing, but it's nothing to be afraid off, it's in us. To be honest, I actually don't think of it like that on a regular day-to-day basis, I just think of it as it's there and that's that. In fact I don't think of it at all, the whole thought of it, just makes me feel uncomfortable some times... but that's what I think is the true nature of mankind... and it's all thanks to human emotions.


By the way, the quote I used is also taken off from 'Kingdom Hearts'. I don't know why I use them quotes, but it's something about them that sort of reflects on some of my life and views... kinda weird but cool I suppose lool :P


*A word of advice, don't think too deeply about it after reading this, it could mess your mind up completely and change your views on this subject, honestly stick to your own personal views*

Symbolism of Jmac

Throughout my life, I have been through quite a lot of rough times, and I still am as I've typed this post. There was no one who I can turn to, other than my amazing best friend LD.Blaney (honestly check out his blog, it's amazing http://theld-effect.blogspot.com/) and he once said to me ''what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'' and that I will be standing on my two feet no matter what. It was then after that, I realised I'm not alone and that I can stand up to the darkness, which then came to a conclusion that I wanted a symbol that symbolises me and the above.

The symbol is a fusion of two existing symbols which are actually my favourites as well; the Ankh and the inverted pentagram. The Ankh goes back to Ancient Egyptian times and it is a symbol of life and immortality. So basically I have chosen the Ankh, because I want it to represent the fact that, no matter how dark times may be, I will still be standing and continuing on my life. 


The pentagram is merely supporting the Ankh, which also represents darkness, masculinity and for myself, the people which are around me specifically my best friend and a few other friends, plus there is one more as well, but I don't know and haven't met her yet, but she is out there somewhere.


I was also going to have this tattooed on me around December time after my birthday, but I didn't think it was the right time to get it tattooed on me, but someday I will.


Anyway, that's me done with this post, feel free to share what symbolises you via the comments section below :D

Did you know I used to be a tap dancer...

Yeah, it's true you know, I actually did tap dance... until I feel in the sink... BOOM BOOM!!! :P

WOW!! I've changed a lot since then... haha lool :P

New was once old

Illustration of  Deja vu

Everyday new things and events always happen to me and everyone around me, but most times they aren't as new as they seem to me. It feels like, these events have happened once before, but I can never be certain if they have happened or not; Déjà vu (French translation of ''already seen''). Everyday, I have at least 2-3 déjà vu moments and some times, they usually leave me feeling eerie and weird.  

I know... this sounds completely weird and I'm going absolutely bonkers, but to be honest I'm not, it's perfectly normal psychological behaviour and it's quite common to have at my age group. However, I do suffer with anxiety/depression and frequent déjà vu is in fact one of the side effects of anxiety as well, so I guess that's the down point to it.


But it's always best not to think about it too much, it's always best to just look at it and say ''ugh fuck it'' and move on.


Sorry that this post is a bit ''meh'' but I just had one of those moments and I just thought I share this with you. This is probably one of my serious posts, but don't worry, the next post will be a lot more positive, I can guarantee that :)